Sharp Letters to an open wound

What can you do when your words haunt you ? When everything you're trying to build topples over and falls through ... When your ever changing reality becomes too much for you ...and your date for negative thought rape awaits at the door of blue. It defies change and welcomes memories inflicted with pain and misery. The words are sharpened at the edge and thrown right at me. They are daggers to my past ... They are the words that haunt me... They are the open wounds you chose to pick until I'm infected with agony. It's cause you never want me to forget your pain... How could I ? How dare I try to mention that I too was hurt in the aftermath and that my real  decision to let you go was a self less act of love ... You won't let me be honest. Trips down memory lane won't allow you to forget your long meditative nights of sorrow and prayerful hatred. You wished upon wishes that you could delete from your life and ignore my existence. But my eyes always watched you ...and my face continued to appear in your dreams. And my voice that rang like bells in your head just reminded you how much you hate you love me. So you Jump into our funerary boat and retrieve my buried body. You dust me off and conger up a spell to spring life within the depths of me. You say lets ponder on forever but in the mean time let's think about what you did to me...and every chance I get to throw it in your face you are to never lift a brow. You are to never admit the divine truth of the matter...that what You did was out of yourself. That what You did was to protect Me. That what You did was because You felt You didn't deserve me... Yet even that very thought haunts me into a coma of miscommunications and things left unsaid. To floating pointing fingers and the walking dead.your rebirth I am starting to dread...it's draining my heart. I know we are meant to be and that's why this love I've started. But these wounds.... Will they ever heal? Will these letters ever cease to pierce my soul even into the depths of the afterlife...let one forgive and accept his wrong doing... Isn't she a child of god? Who art thou to place judgment upon a child of god? Take this mirror and look at yourself ... Do you have nothing to alter? Do you have nothing that needs fixing? Or can you only see my flaws and point the finger at me? Some things we will never meet eye to eye on but no one should ever feel like they are loved yet never forgiven.